The Great Box Migration: Nobody Consulted the Cats
September 18, 2026
The humans are moving, Mika is inspecting every box, and Koji is pretty sure the furniture is being stolen. A shorter September dispatch about packing, carriers, safe rooms, and surviving a move under relentless feline supervision.
September 2026, Volume 2, Issue 9
Where whiskers meet mischief. Curated chaos, cat-approved.
THE GREAT BOX MIGRATION - The humans packed the house. Nobody consulted the cats.
I’m moving. There are boxes everywhere, the tape gun has
developed an attitude, and I haven’t seen one completely clear horizontal
surface in days.
Mika thinks this is the best thing I’ve ever organized.
Every box must be sniffed, entered, turned around in, and approved before I’m
allowed to put anything useful inside it. Koji, meanwhile, has reached the
entirely reasonable conclusion that the humans are stealing all the furniture
one piece at a time.
So yes, this month’s Scratching Post Press is a little
shorter than usual. I’m writing it somewhere between packing the kitchen and
explaining for the fourteenth time that the carriers are not currently active
instruments of betrayal.
The house may be in pieces, but management remains fully
staffed. Unfortunately, management has paws.
Moving With Cats Without Losing the Cats - or
Your Mind
The September management meeting was called to order inside
a medium moving box that I had intended to use for towels.
Mika has been appointed Chief Box Inspector, a position she
created herself and began performing without an interview. No carton may be
closed until she has examined the corners, sniffed the packing paper, and
planted her ass directly in the middle of the operation.
Koji has taken a broader strategic role. He follows me from
room to room, watches familiar objects disappear, and looks at me like I’m
participating in an insurance scam. His primary concern appears to be whether
the furniture will return and, if so, whether it will still belong to him.
Current findings: the human has no plan, the boxes are
excellent, and the tape remains deeply offensive. Except that Mika thinks tape
is another food group. That’s fodder for a whole ‘nuther story.
Moving day already comes with doors standing open, strangers
carrying large objects, and at least one person asking where the tape went
while holding the tape. Add cats, and suddenly the whole operation becomes a
low-budget heist movie.
Start with a safe
room. Before the heavy traffic begins, put the cats in a closed room at the
old house with water, food, litter, familiar bedding, a hiding place, and a
very large sign on the door that says DO NOT OPEN. Set up the same kind of room
at the new house before they arrive. This is not the day to trust that
everybody heard you the first time.
Keep familiar smells
familiar. Do not wash every blanket, bed, and soft thing right before the
move. Their own scent helps the new place smell less like an alien landing
site. Keep their regular food and litter available, and preserve the usual
feeding schedule as closely as real life allows.
Bring the carriers
out early. If the carrier appears only when betrayal is imminent, the cats
are going to notice. Leave it open ahead of time with familiar bedding and a
few treats inside. The goal is not to convince them it is a day spa. We’re
simply trying to reduce the immediate oh-hell-no response.
Transport them like
precious cargo. Each cat travels secured in a closed carrier inside the
vehicle - never loose, never in the moving truck, and never left unattended in
a parked car. Keep the trip calm, direct, and boring. Boring is excellent.
Boring means nobody escaped at a gas station.
Open the new world
gradually. Start them in the prepared safe room. Once they are eating,
using the litter box, and acting more like themselves, let them explore a
little at a time. Mika may demand a full inspection immediately. Koji may
require a formal inquiry into where the couch went. Both approaches are valid.
Update the paperwork.
After the dust settles, update identification, microchip contact
information, and veterinary records where applicable. It is tedious. It is also
much less tedious than trying to explain to a stranger that the suspicious
black cat under their porch is your dumb boy.
The objective is not a perfectly serene move. This is not a
perfect world. The objective is closed doors, secure carriers, familiar smells,
and getting everybody to the correct house with the correct number of legs.
Mika: Box inspection completion rate remains at 100 percent.
Several boxes were reopened due to unauthorized packing without feline
oversight.
Koji: Continues to monitor the disappearance of chairs,
lamps, and other critical infrastructure. Has submitted no solutions but
remains visibly concerned.
Both: Object to the carriers on procedural, ethical, and
probably constitutional grounds.
Human performance rating: Two stars out of five. Appears
busy. Misplaces tape. Treat distribution remains inconsistent.
♫Podcast Spotlight
The Cat Whisperer Blog Podcast is still where cat behavior,
human foolishness, and the occasional household mutiny get discussed out loud.
War and Peace: The Cat Edition, This week, Mika, Koji and I
examine the ongoing cold war between cats and the humans still foolish enough
to believe they own the house. Expect feline negotiations, questionable tactics
and a surprisingly sensible explanation for why cats do what they do.
Choose your favorite print from the Bandana Design dropdown.
The main image changes automatically to show the exact design you selected.
Each bandana is handmade in small batches for cats who consider ordinary
neckwear beneath them.
Every Snarky Cat Boutique product is handcrafted under
relentless feline supervision. Actual productivity varies depending on who is
sitting on the materials.
The workbench is currently operating under emergency
relocation procedures. Some supplies are packed. Some are waiting to be packed.
Some have vanished into boxes labeled with words that will make absolutely no
sense to me next week.
I’m keeping the business moving as best I can while also
moving the actual business, the household, myself, and two deeply skeptical
supervisors. The September production schedule is therefore less ‘finely tuned
machine’ and more ‘woman carrying three things while looking for the scissors.’
Normal handcrafted chaos will resume once I can locate the
workbench.
Until Next Time...
That’s the shorter-than-usual September dispatch from the
land of cardboard, tape, and offended cats.
If you’re moving with cats, close the doors, secure the
carriers, save the familiar blankets, and assume the box you need is currently
occupied. If you’re not moving, please enjoy your furniture remaining exactly
where you left it. Some of us remember that life fondly.
Stay frosty, stay snarky, and never underestimate a cat with
an agenda.
Written for The Cat Whisperer Blog by Annie St. Germain, Editor-in-Chief, The Scratching Post Press, and resident Cat Whisperer and chronicler at Snarky Cat Boutique.
(assisted by Mika, monitored by Koji, and authorized by absolutely no one)❤️🐾
